November 17th

Saturday marked exactly 2 years of my grandmother's passing. Estonian people find it quite difficult to express their emotions so we don't have a tradition to follow in this event. Our family was no different. We didn't really plan anything but we knew we wanted to spend the day together.
In the morning my mother and I met with the rest of the family: my uncle, his wife, my aunt, her husband and their two daughters. At the cemetery we raked leaves and put some candles on our grandmother and great-grandmother and great-grandfather's graves. Both those activities are very common in our country. Every family is responsible for taking care of the little area where their relatives are buried. That reminds me of a perhaps pretty humorous story. 

About 2 years ago my mother and aunt went to Paris. It happened to be my birthday at the same time so we skyped one day. They were telling me what they had done so far and one of the activities was going to the Père-Laichase cemetery for celebrities. An Estonian artist, Eduard Wiiralt, is buried there. My mother and aunt were proud to tell me that once they got there, they started pulling out weeds around his grave. I just started laughing because to me this is such a classic Estonian thing to do. It doesn't matter if you're the most famous artist of Estonian history or a family member - if you have a gravesite, we will landscape it! Most likely it is due to the reason I mentioned earlier: not being able to confront our emotions. Estonians have always dealt with their grief by simply working harder. A great illustration for that is A. H. Tammsaare's book "Truth and Justice". 

Going back to Saturday, though, we spent some time at the cemetery and went for lunch in a local restaurant in Ambla (a village in Central Estonia). After, my uncle came up with the idea of going back to our great-grandmother's farm where my grandmother grew up and my mother and uncle spent most their summers. It was sold years ago when my great-grandmother moved to be with her daughter and help out with raising three children. Luckily, we have always been close with the neighbours and they said the new owner would be happy to show us around. I was so happy to see my mother recognize places from her childhood and tell us about her adventures there. It reminded me of Räpina, my mother's birthplace where I spent my summers as a child. Both places have plenty of nature, which to children equals fun, adventure and games. Our favourite activities were climbing (apple) trees, playing with our neighbours and eating fresh berries in our grandmothers' gardens. Even though the farms, times and locations were different, my mother and I actually grew up similarly. 

Finally, we went to have coffee with the neighbours and told stories about our grandmother. My favourite ones are about her teenage years, which contrast with the rest of her conservative life. 

Some pictures:

We found an extremely friendly cat at the cemetery

The trees on the right were planted by my great-grandfather